Hic inserere motto

A rainy Saturday in the lab

December 17, 2022 — shinohai

I recently obtained an esp32 based smartwatch and have succeeded in building a stable firmware that runs freebasic. While I did get jurov's recipe for ulisp working, I wanted to still be able to use the gui when lisp is running, so enter fb-lisp.

tl;dr - I mirrored the freebasic code here.


Wifi no longer crashes webserver, so triggering screenshots via wget is possible again. Time and BTC to local fiat price sync operational.

Also this past week I finally shut down the server running busybot to pestnet. I can't justify the server for it and want to focus on making something more stable in the bot arena so it can read me logs back, etc.

Meanwhile on Pestnet, Lord cringe makes an appearance, so hurr-durr read-only for now!

Blatta performance on the pogoplug is sub-optimal, but runs much more efficiently under termux (as does smalpest) so I will switch back over when I have time to chroot the armv7 device again.

Besides, it's a rainy Saturday morning and I'd rather play blackjack on the mc10 anyway.

Tags: Bitcoin, News, UNIX

The lightning experiment, or LN is a shitcoin

August 23, 2022 — shinohai

Back in 2020, I was casually reading the logs one morning when Joe Rodgers (WoT:joerodgers), Bitcoin Magazine alumni, decided to pop into chat and link a rss aggregator "powered by Lightning" for those assembled to view. Up to this point I had never touched a single satoshi powered by it so the conversation started thus:

shinohai: I had nfi anyone was even using Lightning Network. Still trying to solve 30 cent problems instead of $3000 ones I guess.
asciilifeform: shinohai: 99% of the work (if can dare to use word 'work'...) of a shitcoin perpetrator, is to create a synthetic appearance of 'use'
asciilifeform: is how they get it into goxes, pump up exch rate, etc
joerodgers: Are you suggesting LN is a shitcoin?
asciilifeform: joerodgers: it is. albeit with slightly more than the usual amt of 'bitcoin flavouring' added
asciilifeform: joerodgers: if anything, it's the most cynically fraudulent type of shitcoin, in that it purports to be equivalent somehow to actual bitcoin (y'know, the kind where tx follows the 2009 format, and gets mined into actual blocks..)
asciilifeform: while in actuality, it ain't
joerodgers: Ok, thanks for sharing.
asciilifeform: this isn't some kinda mega-revelation. if you read the docs, will become entirely clear what it is
joerodgers: I need to read the LN docs to see where it explains this
asciilifeform: in other lulz .
shinohai: joerodgers: "whereby transactions are sent over a network of micropayment channels ... whose transfer of value occurs off-blockchain."
joerodgers: Are you opposed to any development off the main chain? No L2/sidechains?
shinohai: Kinda defeats the purpose of a blockchain, neh?
shinohai: lel asciilifeform "Plox to mirror it FOR ME"
asciilifeform: joerodgers: can't speak for other people, but i'm opposed to fraud. and folx who push a paypal-like item as 'equiv. of bitcoin' are committing fraud.
joerodgers: It provides a trustless scaling solution?
joerodgers: fair enough
asciilifeform: joerodgers: somehow i was under the impression that you've eaten years of #t logs. and therefore familiar with the favourite strategy of the enemy over past decade, i.e. pushing baroque crocks of shit under banner of 'scale bitcoin'
joerodgers: Paypal takes custody of your funds and asks for KYC, I don't see how LN is that.

The conversation carries on in the logs, which you can read here but I decided to go slum it with the LN evangelists on twitter/telegram and see what they were up to. My curiosity often leads me to filthy places what can I say?

I shan't bore folks with the details of all the services and things I tried but here's the tl;dr:

How much of the network is actually using Lightning? Statistics site shows that there are currently around 4595 BTC in LN channels, or about 0.0219% of all Bitcoin that will ever exist. Indeed it's still a micro economy at this stage of development and from my perspective is just an ouroboros, as mentioned above.

And thus ends my participation in the Lightning experiment - I'll just stick to actual Bitcoin (address in footer if you are so inclined!) for now, thank you very much. I've deleted all LN apps from my device that were used during this exercise but on the off-chance someone happens to send me something on Telegram, I'll likely automatically send it back. You probably need that ten cents more than me.

UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some folx refuse to read the links in this piece and would rather make angry NPC noises instead. I'll break out the crayons for these people. Here's a simple flowchart:

That's all folks!

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Fiat

Meme Collection Vol. 2 - Bitcoin Blinding Lights

August 06, 2021 — shinohai

"Bitcoin Blinding Lights", by Strike meme warfare specialist ICOffender.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Memetards, Lulz

Meme Collection Vol. 1 - The memetards

August 04, 2021 — shinohai

"The Memetards", an A-Team parody video starring Adam Back.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Memetards, Lulz

Moscow Memetards Move Market

July 10, 2021 — shinohai

In a decisive blow against mainstream media mongoloids chattering away at computers Twitter meme group member @gegelsmr, identifying as the "Israel Investment Fund Group", posted a tweet Friday afternoon announcing 2.3 Billion petrodollars worth of Bitcoin holdings. The tweet, spread by memetards, landed on the pages of Yahoo finance and other "cryptocurrency news outlets" within hours. Upon realizing they forgot to "Verify, don't trust" the butthurt rage resulted in the Israel Investment Fund Group account being suspended by twitter, likely because they hate competition on the dissemination of fake news front.

Because the internet never forgets, these lulz will be forever preserved: (The original tweet) (Yahoo news article) (Bitcoin Insider) (Crypto Watch Daily)

The Bitcoin market sank to $32,000 on Thursday and was trading at $33,900 at the time this post was published.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Memetards, Lulz

A simple bip39 diceware script in common lisp

July 07, 2021 — shinohai

I'm currently bench testing a "Foundation devices" passport hardware Bitcoin wallet, because why not? While the device will happily generate bip39 seeds for you I wanted to test load a bunch of seed phrases generated offline without throwing dice all afternoon and figured a simple lisp script would suffice.

I started with this implementation of diceware. The original author provided no asdf system file or anything, but we don't need that where we're going, so a couple of quick modifications get us where we want to be here. We only need an index of 2048 for our *words* array, so we change that in the script to make it compatible with the standard bip39 wordlist.

(require 'ironclad) (defparameter *words* nil) (defparameter *prng* (ironclad:make-prng :fortuna)) (defun load-words (&optional (wd-list #P "bip39-english.txt")) "Load *words* from bip39-english.txt" (with-open-file (s wd-list) (do ((wd (read-line s nil) (read-line s nil)) ( i 0 (1+ i))) ((not wd)) (setf (aref *words* i) wd)))) (defun choose-one () "Randomly choose a single word from *words*." (aref *words* (ironclad:strong-random (length *words*) *prng*))) (defun choose-password (n) "Generate n random words for a pass phrase. Initialize *words* if needed" (unless *words* (setf *words* (make-array 2048)) (load-words)) (let (words) (dotimes (i n) (push (choose-one) words)) (reverse words)))

Grab the standard bip39 English wordlist from the "Bitcoin Core" Shithub repo, and save it in the same directory as the script naming it "bip39-english.txt".

Load up the script in your lisp REPL (I used SBCL here) and run `choose password` + the number of words you are using for your seed. I'm using 23 words in this example since most hardware wallets will calculate the final word for you.

/usr/local/bin/sbcli --load diceware.lisp REPL for SBCL version 0.1.0 Press CTRL-D or type :q to exit [sbcl]> * (choose-password 23) ("there" "image" "federal" "steak" "renew" "helmet" "attack" "medal" "seat" "game" "return" "way" "shock" "hero" "wolf" "amount" "token" "pluck" "gentle" "evoke" "burst" "siege" "ripple")

The device happily accepted the phrases generated via manual entry, calculated the 24th "checksum" word perfectly, and freed up time for me to continue trying builds of the device firmware. More to come.

Tags: Bitcoin, Lisp, Linux

McAfee fakes death to avoid eating his penis

June 24, 2021 — shinohai

Serial shitcoin adventurer John McAfee was reportedly found dead in his Spanish prison cell just hours after USSA authorities were granted a request for his extradition. A lone letter `Q` was posted to his Instagram page hours after his death was reported, instead of the more appropriate `HFSP` which his surviving family is likely to experience if the disclosure is proven to be accurate.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Shitcoins

trb - correct trivial bug in `dumpblock`

June 21, 2021 — shinohai

As discussed in the #asciilifeform irc chan, a bug was discovered by user whaack (WoT:whaack) in the trb `dumpblock` mechanism where it would return an orphaned block from disk instead of the expected mainchain block. asciilifeform (WoT:asciilifeform) quickly produced a vpatch which corrects this behavior, which I have tested and signed.

The vpatch and it's corresponding signature can be found in the trb section below:

asciilifeform_dumpblocks_force_mainchain.kv.vpatch asciilifeform_dumpblocks_force_mainchain.kv.vpatch.shinohai.sig

Tags: News, Bitcoin

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections: Laura Loomer crashes the party.

June 05, 2021 — shinohai

US Republican activist Laura Loomer started the first day of the 2021 Miami "Bitcoin" conference off with a bang, interrupting the panelist in order to raise objections to him championing Bitcoin as an instrument of freedom, whilst simultaneously accusing him of censorship and election interference on twitter. Event organizers regained control of the room by pinning a gold star on Ms. Loomer, and Jack Dorsey went on to talk about his new hardware "Bitcoin" wallet offering. The "assisted custody" device will include a signing key for Square to prevent users from using actual Bitcoin. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, BitcoinMiami2021

El Salvador declares Bitcoin offical currency

June 05, 2021 — shinohai

Nayib Bukele, President of El Salvador, announced via recorded message played at the Bitcoin 2021 Conference in Miami that next week he will be sending a bill to congress making BTC official legal tender within the country. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, BitcoinMiami2021

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections 6

January 30, 2021 — shinohai

It's been a while since I've done one of these, but this past week produced a bit of lulzy shitcoin fodder so here goes.

From around teh interwebz:

A now-deleted tweet from the account "@DocumentingBTC" suggested that one should buy Bitcoin because the "founder of reddit" is doing it.

The reader should be well-advised to not emulate Alexis Ohanian in any shape or form, unless you aspire to have fun staying poor. Alexis famously quit his job so a black person could have it and will likely take any Bitcoin he has and pay slavery reparations or other woke nonsense with it.

The denizens of reddit also showed us what happens when one turd squeezes another with the Robinhood lulz this week:

How it started:

How it's going:

Using tactics learned from the 2016 DAO hack, Robinhood execs decided to stop trading on certain shares though no SFYL is expected to occur from the riots. USGoogle was happy to assist in these efforts and deleted 100K+ 1-star ratings of the trading app in it's store.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

ben_vulpes base58 encoding in Common Lisp

January 24, 2021 — shinohai

As the anniversary of the fall of TMSR approaches the decay of the once-proud institution is evident in the rapidly decreasing number of websites of former Lords., formerly operated by ben_vulpes (WoT:ben_vulpes) is sadly one of these castles specifically because the guy wrote the defacto introduction to vtronics (archived) and some interesting posts on common lisp.

One forgotten item I found particularly useful was an implementation of base58 encoding in common lisp. Sadly I could find no archive of the original article but after a bit of digging I found a copy of the code contained within saved on an old hard drive. I'm quoting it below so I have a handy reference for future projects.

(defparameter +b58-alphabet+ "123456789ABCDEFGHJKLMNPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijkmnopqrstuvwxyz")

(defun b58-encode (bytes)
  (let ((string (make-string-output-stream))
        (bignum (loop for i to (- (length bytes) 1) summing
               (* (elt bytes i)
                  (expt 256 i)))))

   (loop while (> bignum 0) do
        (multiple-value-bind (x r) (floor bignum (length +b58-alphabet+))
          (write-char (elt +b58-alphabet+ r) string)
          (setf bignum x)))

   (loop for b across (reverse bytes) do
        (if (= 0 b)
            (write-char (elt +b58-alphabet+ 0) string)

   (reverse (get-output-stream-string string))))

Tags: Bitcoin, Lisp, News

Hoaxtoshi and Ayre ring in 2021 with fresh round of lies.

January 21, 2021 — shinohai

In a continuation of the lulz from last year, liar and Hoaxtoshi Craig Wright (WoT:non-entity) is sending copyright claims to persons publishing the original Bitcoin whitepaper, in an attempt to use non-sovereign courts to attack sovereign Bitcoin. Notices were sent to the and website from lawyers representing Hoaxtoshi, with demands that any copies be immediately removed on copyright infringement grounds. While "" decided to capitulate to the ludicrous demands, the owners of the "" website published the following statement: (archived)

Yesterday both and received allegations of copyright infringement of the Bitcoin whitepaper by lawyers representing Craig Steven Wright. In this letter, they claim Craig owns the copyright to the paper, the Bitcoin name, and ownership of They also claim he is Satoshi Nakamoto, the pseudonymous creator of Bitcoin, and the original owner of and were both asked to take down the whitepaper. We believe these claims are without merit, and refuse to do so. Unfortunately, without consulting us, Bitcoin Core developers scrambled to remove the Bitcoin whitepaper from, in response to these allegations of copyright infringement, lending credence to these false claims. The Bitcoin Core website was modified to remove references to the whitepaper, their local copy of the whitepaper PDF was deleted, and with less than 2 hours of public review, this change was merged. By surrendering in this way, the Bitcoin Core project has lent ammunition to Bitcoin’s enemies, engaged in self-censorship, and compromised its integrity. This surrender will no doubt be weaponized to make new false claims, like that the Bitcoin Core developers “know” CSW to be Satoshi Nakamoto and this is why they acted in this way. The Bitcoin whitepaper was included in the original Bitcoin project files with the project clearly published under the MIT license by Satoshi Nakamoto. We believe there is no doubt we have the legal right to host the Bitcoin whitepaper. Furthermore, Satoshi Nakamoto has a known PGP public key, therefore it is cryptographically possible for someone to verify themselves to be Satoshi Nakamoto. Unfortunately, Craig has been unable to do this. We will continue hosting the Bitcoin whitepaper and won’t be silenced or intimidated. Others hosting the whitepaper should follow our lead in resisting these false allegations.

Users of actual Bitcoin are, as always, immune to this sort of thing. The whitepaper is included in the trb archives here.

Tags: Bitcoin, Lulz, News

trb project and mirror updates

December 22, 2020 — shinohai

Discussion in #therealbitcoin channel on irc has shamed me into updating my trb mirror with the obey_sendbuffersize.vpatch. I had previously tested and signed while reviewing the patch with mod6 (WoT:mod6)this past Summer, but I decided to err on side of caution and do a few builds and runs before publishing. The vpatch and it's corresponding seal are now available on my trb mirror:



Current state of The Bitcoin Foundation and other ramblings:

The source code viewer remains down at the time this post was being written.

No monthly tbf "State of Bitcoin" address or treasury reports have been broadcast since August.

asciilifeform (WoT:asciilifeform) floats the possibility of yours truly becoming co-chair of The Bitcoin Foundation, and a slew of improvements.

Annnnd that's pretty much all for now. I will make any updates to the information here in a future post. Stay tuned.

Tags: Bitcoin, News

From the 2017 titsbare vault, fotos de Melisa

October 19, 2020 — shinohai

These are some of the extra pics I had taken of Melissa circa 2017 when castle titsbare/tmsr was still a thing. I found the entire set of 60 pictures on a sd card tucked away in the pogoplug. At Ms. Titsbare's insistence, I repost a sample of them here for your viewing pleasure.

Ms. Titsbare still likes Bitcoin, and welcomes tips to 1tits2qwPKWRVwAtR7EbsUyvZmLwmJ3yF

Tags: New, Bitcoin, Photos

A mirror of

October 16, 2020 — shinohai

A recent outage of the Bitcoin foundation website made me think it might be a good idea to mirror the contents in the event another outage occurs due to unforeseen circumstances or cosmic rays". The complete site mirror will reside at and every effort will be made to keep it regularly updated. Enjoy!

Tags: News, Bitcoin

More than sixty Coinbase employees exit after apolitics rule takes effect

October 11, 2020 — shinohai

Conbase CEO Brian Armstrong (WoT:nonperson) has said that more than 60 employees (~5%) accepted the "company's" severance package that was proffered in a recent announcement the exchange made to remain neutral regarding political affairs in the USSA. The controversial move by Coinbase produced the usual SJW outrage across their preferred platforms of Reddit and "Hacker News", with much weeping and gnashing of teeth occurring over their lost ability to spread Marxism further in the workplace. The disenfranchised employees will likely seek employment in more SJW friendly environs like Shithub, where they are free to focus on "things that excite them" like removing racially charged language from computer programs and embedding more equality into silicon. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Don't call me

October 02, 2020 — shinohai

When I left tmsr early in 2018, I had the idea that I would poke about in the sewers and hang out my plaque as a freelance "core" cryptocurrency developer. I thought it would at least be a fun way to sharpen my skills and understanding of the "ecosystem" in general, but two years on into the fray I'm not certain I really like what I see.

The above-mentioned ecosystem is full of people who want you to spend hours of your time polishing turds for little or no money. Lane Rettig, a mETHereum dev, hit the nail on the head about what one should expect as a "core" dev for any cryptocurrency:

You’re building extremely low-level infrastructure that the average person will never notice nor understand .... The pay kinda sucks, other people will get rich and famous on the back of your work, you likely won’t receive any credit, and you kind of have to be okay with that.

I'm decidedly not ok with that. I'm tired of watching retards throw insane amounts of Bitcoin at "exchange listings" and javascript developers who write webshit and get paid 10x the amount a "core developer" is expected to accept. I'm tired of building toolchains for obscure machines - which can take hours on it's own - then spend days afterwards getting shitty code I inherited to build in a halfway sane manner. I'm tired of being available 100% of the time to answer questions and walk people through technical things, most of the time without even a simple thank you or a courtesy bitcent for my trouble. I'm also tired of watching myself give people microscopes to hammer nails with. The list could go on all night.

In short, I've had about enough of the "cryptocurrency community" and am seriously considering just sitting back and watching the whole thing burn. And make no mistake - fires will break out and when they do perhaps there is a monkey out there willing to work for peanuts or nothing at all.

Whatever the case, don't call me. </rant>

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

The caek is a lie

August 22, 2020 — shinohai

IRC log review

A few interesting and not-so-interesting things in freenode irc.

Still nothing of substance out of #o, low signal.

#o alumni whaack (WoT:whaack) is still working on his trb node however, and according to watchglass is at block height 448752.

btcinfobot caused me to walk away in disgust this past week and instead spend the day fishing. After a refreshing day at the river it is now back online and, freenode weather permitting, will remain there for testing. ircbot and logbot are stable, but quest for lispbot command interpreter vpatch continues.

Meanwhile, in #asciilifeform mats (WoT:mats) proffers original fg units for the low price of $100 in Bitcoin.

ave1 (WoT:ave1) officially goes mia as goes dark.

trinque (WoT:trinque) continues quest to get vgenesis of linux before it becomes too cancerous.

Otherwise, it's a rainy afternoon in castle shinohai and the caek is a lie.

Tags: News, Bitcoin

Deedbot Web of Trust updates - Summer 2020

June 26, 2020 — shinohai

I finally got around to tidying up my WOT on deedbot, so this page will serve as any easy reference of persons I have rated in my WoT. It is an exact mirror of the ratings table found on deedbot here.

Ratings Received
Rating From Timestamp Note
5 spyked 2020-05-26 02:05:28 botworks; qntra; shitcoins
3 BingoBoingo 2016-12-11 03:12:34 Regular Qntra Contributor and TRB-ist
3 asciilifeform 2018-01-24 11:01:20 heathendom newsdesk; pogotronics, trb, FG experimenter
2 billymg 2020-04-26 10:04:36 longstanding #trilema member from before my time. former qntra contributor with a good sense of humor. writes at
2 danielpbarron 2017-01-23 10:01:50 Puts in the work
2 hanbot 2016-12-24 11:12:23 Avid task tackler.
2 mod6 2015-07-03 03:07:00 Very responsive and helpful testing of TRB & V.
2 pete_dushenski 2016-06-29 10:06:34 trb tester+navigator
1 ag3nt_zer0 2015-07-10 10:07:25 great assist to newb
1 diana_coman 2016-09-03 10:09:37 Held many euloran noob hands.
1 mats 2016-02-14 05:02:09 The Real Bitcoin tester, #b-a regular
1 mircea_popescu 2018-07-18 12:07:20 he used to be a bigshot.
1 whaack 2017-07-19 07:07:11 qntra writer, helped me a bit with my spanish pronunciation
Ratings Sent
Rating To Timestamp Note
5 asciilifeform 2020-06-19 08:06:38 #asciilifeform Writes at: ffa, fg, too much to mention
5 spyked 2020-06-19 08:06:55 #spyked Lisp,botworks, writes at
4 BingoBoingo 2020-06-19 08:06:42 #agriculturalsupremacy Writes at: and Former Qntra editor.
2 billymg 2020-06-19 08:06:27 Writes at:
2 jurov 2020-06-19 08:06:43 #therealbitcoin Boldly continuing work of trb/thebitcoinfoundation. Writes at
2 trinque 2020-06-19 08:06:30 #trinque deedbot Writes at: operates
2 whaack 2020-06-19 09:06:50 Common Lisp, Guitarrista Writes at:
1 adlai 2020-06-19 08:06:37 Can be found in #asciilifeform. Lisper that has published useful items.
1 danielpbarron 2018-04-05 08:04:11
1 diana_coman 2020-06-19 08:06:54 Reichsführer of The Most Cvasi Republic of #ossasepia, S.MG.
1 mats 2018-04-05 08:04:10
1 verisimilitude 2020-06-19 08:06:48 Writes at:
-1 mircea_popescu 2020-06-19 08:06:37 Ozymandias, Scammed MPEX users despite his rationalizations to the contrary.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, WoT

Yet another musl trb build instructional

April 30, 2020 — shinohai

A recent post by DC University alumni1jfw proposed significant changes to the trb build system amongst them one that does away with the `makefile.unix` file in trb source directory. This build takes a different tack and changes next to nothing of the original structure, while still getting a statically linked bitcoind.

I started by adding a profile for my toolchain at `/etc/env.d/gcc/` and named it "x86_64-pc-linux-gnu-musl-4.9.4". Now one can switch to it any time you please using gcc-config.

# gcc-config -l
 [1] x86_64-pc-linux-gnu-7.3.0
 [2] x86_64-pc-linux-gnu-9.2.0
 [3] x86_64-pc-linux-gnu-musl-4.9.4 *

I choose profile 3, ensuring we use the correct toolchain.

# gcc -v
gcc version 4.9.4 20160426 (for GNAT GPL 2016 20160515) (GCC)

Press trb in the same way as described on existing foundation "how-to" page, then proceed to the build directory:

v press mod6_whogaveblox trb054`
`cd trb054/bitcoin/build`

Build the 3 main trb dependencies (listed as #Turds! in rotor ), much as Jacob described in his article, and installed them to the `./ourlibs` directory. I also host my own mirror the dependency artifacts on deebot here so I grabbed the necessary items:




In this directory I also put a modified version of the "rotor_bitcoin_only" script called `` that absolutely, positively *does not remove* makefile.unix. It contains:


DIST=$(readlink -f ./distfiles)
OURLIBS=$(readlink -f ./ourlibs)

export CC=$(readlink -f $TOOLCHAIN/bin/x86_64-linux-musl-gcc)
export CXX=$(readlink -f $TOOLCHAIN/bin/x86_64-linux-musl-g++)
export LD=$(readlink -f $TOOLCHAIN/bin/x86_64-linux-musl-ld)

export CFLAGS=-I$(readlink -f $TOOLCHAIN/usr/include)
export LDFLAGS=-L$(readlink -f .$TOOLCHAIN/usr/lib)
export PATH=$PATH:$(readlink -f $TOOLCHAIN/usr/bin)




cd ../src;
make STATIC=all -f makefile.unix bitcoind
strip bitcoind
mv bitcoind ../bin

Now run `./ The output for me is a 5M statically linked trb. It took about ten minutes for me to build.

bitcoin/bin # file bitcoind
bitcoind: ELF 64-bit LSB executable, x86-64, version 1 (SYSV), statically linked, stripped

bitcoin/bin # echo "Size: $(du -h bitcoind)-$(ldd bitcoind)"
Size: 5.0M	bitcoind-	not a dynamic executable

I am pleased with the results as they are on this one. Aside from the benefit of losing the tedious buildroot process, I'm choosing not to change much right now here and leave trb the fuck alone.2


Experimental vpatches for trb

April 19, 2020 — shinohai

I have decided that my trb mirror could use an experimental patch section as a place to aggregate vpatches I have found useful over time, but aren't part of the "official" trb tree. I have serious reservations as to how much longer btcbase will exist - If the end of TMSR and the Qntra exit scam is any indication, it might be best to grab these items while the getting is good.

The first item in this section doesn't herald from btcbase however, but from Jacob Welsh's Fixpoint blog. This experimental patch adds a "getrawtransaction" rpc call. The only issue I had in applying this patch was due to differences in naming styles of the manifest file, so the item I include here is reground with a note in the manifest that jfw is the original author along with an update of the block time. It should be noted that the patch does not have a corresponding seal at this time, making it a "use at own discretion" item. The bitcoin_getrawtransaction.vpatch can be found HERE.

That'd be it for now. Future updates to the experimental section will likely include a regrind of asciilifeform's "Shiva" and polarbeard's "sendrawtransaction" vpatches, as those are the items I am most familiar with.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, UNIX

Robinhood falls along with other fiat markets

March 09, 2020 — shinohai

On the heels of a previous outage, robinhood customers reported widespread issues again this morning shortly after markets opened. Monday started off poorly for fiat markets, with reports of trading halts of 15 Minutes or more after the S&P 500 tanked 7% rapidly in early morning trading.

Meanwhile at MPEX storm clouds brew with some users hoping to get their coins off the exchange before the 2020 Lardship list is published.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Fiat, TMSR, Lulz

Spot the SFYL

March 06, 2020 — shinohai

Happy Friday afternoon. this week on the SFYL channel we present the following (compressed) image of some derp from twitter showing off his new "secure" Nano Ledger Bitcoin wallet.

Simon the smacktard forgot, however, to obscure the paper containing his device's seed phrase, conveniently demonstrating that some people just aren't ready to use Bitcoin yet. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Insecurity, Lulz

Robinhood trading outage enters second day

March 03, 2020 — shinohai

Users of "Cryptocurrency" and fiat stock trading platform Robinhood reported widespread outages beginning on Monday, and is still operating intermittently at the time of this post. The ill timed bug, which some users reported may be attributed to forgetting to code in leap-year logic, occurred just as markets began a recovery from novel coronavirus fears.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

trb mirror updates and build notes

February 26, 2020 — shinohai

The Bitcoin Foundation chairman mod6 recently published some new vpatches and added them to the foundation's website for testing. I haven't updated my personal mirror here on btcinfo in some time, at least since the Keccak regrind so this post will serve to do precisely that, and provide updated build instructions and notes.

Though mod6's post only mentions 3 vpatches, there are a total of 5 new vpatches that we will be adding to the trb mirror, as the last updated patch here was "asciilifeform_aggressive_pushgetblocks.vpatch". These vpatches are (listed in press order):

  • mod6_privkey_tools.vpatch
  • mod6_manifest.vpatch
  • mod6_phexdigit_fix.vpatch
  • mod6_excise_hash_truncation.vpatch
  • mod6_whogaveblox.vpatch

In order to press and build trb you will need a Keccak vtron, for these tests I used esthlos-v. The Bitcoin Foundation also has an alternative "how to" using another vtron version here. I am using the "OFFLINE" build instructions because I host my own dependency mirror and am using that.

My normal development and testing laptop is down at the time of writing, so I used my "daily driver" Gentoo computer when testing, which is unfortunately cursed with glibc-2.28. Though the initial press went fine, I quickly hit a wall during the buildroot step and got the following error:

freadahead.c: In function 'freadahead':
freadahead.c:91:3: error: #error "Please port gnulib freadahead.c to your platform! Look at the definition of 
fflush, fread, ungetc on your system, then report this to bug-gnulib."
  #error "Please port gnulib freadahead.c to your platform! Look at the definition of 
fflush, fread, ungetc on your system, then report this to bug-gnulib."
make[6]: *** [Makefile:1842: freadahead.o] Error 1
make[6]: *** Waiting for unfinished jobs....
In file included from fseeko.c:17:0:
./config.h:78:0: warning: "_FORTIFY_SOURCE" redefined
    # define _FORTIFY_SOURCE 2
: note: this is the location of the previous definition
fseeko.c: In function 'rpl_fseeko':
fseeko.c:109:4: error: #error "Please port gnulib fseeko.c to your platform! Look at the code in fseeko.c, 
then report this to bug-gnulib."
   #error "Please port gnulib fseeko.c to your platform! Look at the code in fseeko.c, 
then report this to bug-gnulib."

My solution was to simply add a patch to `buildroot-2015.05/package/m4` and restart the build. While I can't recommend doing this under normal circumstances (rather, one should instead use a Linux that isn't cursed) I have uploaded the patch I used here for the sake of documentation and thoroughness.

After applying the above duct-tape, the build proceeded smoothly and spat out the usual static bitcoind. To recap, here are the steps:

  • Download the patches, seals, wot, and dependencies from my mirror.
  • Press using esthlos-v: `v press mod6_whogaveblox trb054`
  • Move the dependencies to the proper location: `mv deps/*.asc trb054/bitcoin/deps`
  • Change directories and build: `cd trb054/bitcoin && make`

With all the uncertainty surrounding the fate of the foundation in certain circles, it feels good to have a page where my particular build is made public and commented. For the most part trb is in a "leave it the fuck alone" state, though at some point I'd like to see some Common Lisp or scheme wallet functions added to the mix.

As always, the journey continues!

Tags: News, Bitcoin, UNIX

BSV bug leaves nodes unsure which scam chain to follow

February 09, 2020 — shinohai

The Hoaxtoshi fork-of-a-fork, BitcoinSV, is reportedly connecting to BCash nodes due to a bug that automatically enters "safe mode" when it finds a longer but invalid chain. Aside from this lulzy revelation, twitter user Ben Verret also revealed:

"There are still at least two chains actively mined in BSV, it's a total mess."

Although Hoaxtoshi has claimed in the past to have knowledge of bugs that would "destroy Bitcoin", he was apparently unaware of these particular flaws in his own "BitcoinSV" implementation, since no one seemed to notice the bug existed since November 2018 when their fork went live. (archived)

Tags: Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, News

Rome continues to burn as S.NSA liquidation announced

November 04, 2019 — shinohai

Mircea Popescu continues the war against his own allies, this time announcing the liquidation of MPEX stalwart S.NSA. The linked article contains many lulzworthy gems, my favorite being:

As a factual matter, for the interval quoted, which is to say the past six years, Stanislav Datskovskiy has produced exactly nothing.

One can easily verify that this is nonsense, thanks to asciilifeform we have the only known fully auditable TRNG in existence, FUCKGOATS, an excellent Arithmetic library, FFA (which hopefully will replace OpenSSL in therealbitcoin at some juncture.) and too many other treasures to list in this post. You don't have to take my word for it however, simply visit and read the cornucopia of goodies within - It's quite easy to spend an entire afternoon reading one post after the next.

I for one am happy asciilifeform has finally uncoupled himself from the capricious Caesar and look forward to see what other indestructible tanks roll out of the loper workshop in the future. As part of my own personal renaissance, I hope I can put some of these excellent tools to use should The Bitcoin Foundation survive this brouhaha.1

More will be published on the continuing saga of TMSR as events unfold. Stay tuned folks!


Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections 5

October 19, 2019 — shinohai

From around teh interwebz:

A LBGTBBQ rights cucks the clucks and sends Chick-fil-A packing in Reading, England. Their crimes include not selling chicken on Sunday and a notable absence of filthy faggot fry-cooks in their kitchens. (archived)

Pizarro ISP continues to wrap up operations, after a sparrow fart and a match brought operations to a screeching halt earlier this month. Management responded to the incident by simply null routing Pizarro ipspace and showing affected users pretty charts, hoping no one would notice their incompetence under fire. Electronic keys were revoked in a desperate move to keep the gringo monies in their cache, but apparently it's ok to sue now, this one time. A smattering of mp-turdpress tmsr blogs have resumed operations, though Eulora homepage was still down at the time of writing, leaving fans of auctionbot spam in #eulora irc to find a new log source.

A backdoored version of the Tor browser was used to steal Bitcoin from darknet market users.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, TMSR, Lulz

soopy452000, an indictment

August 14, 2019 — shinohai

Sometime around the exit of Bryce Weiner, the Unobtanium project acquired a new "developer" who goes by the moniker of soopy452000. Let's examine a few alarm bells on why you shouldn't let this guy anywhere near you coin, or anything to do with mission-critical code for that matter, and put this conversation to bed.

Love 'em and leave 'em. Señor soopy has a reputation of inserting himself into cryptocoin communities, making questionable code changes, and absconding with funds. Good 'ol Bitcointalk registers a complaint from a user who testifies he sold 3 billion Beecoin for LTC, left the community hanging, and moved on to Navcoin. (archived)

anotherlateminer: "Read 2 pages from here: BEEs have been sold in order to be used for development and there are still no signs of any development. LTC are just gone."

Telegram chats have provided a few gems as well:

A kind stranger comes to the main channel to warn what UNO might be getting into. (archived)

It didn't take long for teh lulz to manifest:

Readers of this blog already know about the war on cryptography from various "nation-states", and why you should be very careful of what tools you use when working with these items. Soopy exhibits very amateur behavior when dealing with such, from generating keys using keybase.io1 (archived), to posting unusable signed walls of text to Telegram chats that can't be verified.

Yes, this has predictable results, and clowns in this camp will likely come up with the same tired excuses to explain it. (archived)

Socialisms, like zooko.usg "dev subsidies" have no place in cryptocurrency. But that doesn't stop picadors trained in the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka from trying to print unlimited money, and hoping no one notices, as was the case with 42coin:

"What is remarkable in the history of 42, is that until the spring of 2014 the coin supply was really capped at 42, but on March 17, 2014, the GitHub user sherlockcoin (aka soopy452000) made it unlimited. He was working under KGW implementation and no one noticed this "small change"." (archived)

So there you have it folks, and the above-stated reasons are just a few examples of why I won't be trusting any code pushed by this moron to the "official" Github2, and neither should you. But, Caveat Emptor, do your own research, and decide for yourself.


A patch for db4.8 on gcc8+

August 10, 2019 — shinohai

The march of "progress" sometimes brings about a lot of headaches, especially when I am forced to work on heathen systems such as Debian and Ubuntu. This became readily apparent while installing bitcoind (core) to a server equipped with gcc-9.1.0 this past week. While building the dependencies, db-4.8.30.NC promptly shat out this error:

definition of 'int __atomic_compare_exchange(db_atomic_t*, atomic_value_t, atomic_value_t)' ambiguates built-in declaration 'bool __atomic_compare_exchange(long unsigned int, volatile void*, void*, void*, int, int)' static inline int __atomic_compare_exchange

A relatively simple patch allowed me continue building error-free. I have included in the /library/ here for future reference. Place it in the root of the db-4.8.30.NC folder and apply manually as you would any other patch.

While impossible to completely rid the world of such fuckery, I consider this just another tool in the box to make things slightly less painful

Tags: Bitcoin, UNIX, Webshit

btcbase logs fail again

August 02, 2019 — shinohai

The btcbase irc log for the tmsr in #trilema has apparently left the building once more, leaving the crumbling republic with no real-time documentation of it's proceedings. Caesar Augustus hinges hopes on forum member lobbes finishing a logbot, hopefully one that doesn't put the `$` symbol in front of words every third line like it's author. Until then, it appear the channel will enter radio silence.

UPDATE: A Trilema post was made on subject, with the following at the tail of the logs:

    Aug 02 08:28:52 * feedbot has quit (Write error: Connection reset by peer)
    Aug 02 08:34:50 * mircea_popescu removes channel operator status from deedbot
    Aug 02 08:34:54 * mircea_popescu removes voice from whaack
    Aug 02 08:34:58 * mircea_popescu removes voice from trinque
    Aug 02 08:35:01 * mircea_popescu removes voice from spyked
    Aug 02 08:35:08 * mircea_popescu removes channel operator status from scriba
    Aug 02 08:35:13 * mircea_popescu removes voice from scriba
    Aug 02 08:35:17 * mircea_popescu removes voice from phf
    Aug 02 08:35:20 * mircea_popescu removes voice from mod6
    Aug 02 08:35:23 * mircea_popescu removes voice from Mocky
    Aug 02 08:35:26 * mircea_popescu removes voice from lobbes
    Aug 02 08:35:30 * mircea_popescu removes voice from jurov
    Aug 02 08:35:33 * mircea_popescu removes voice from dorion
    Aug 02 08:35:37 * mircea_popescu removes voice from diana_coman
    Aug 02 08:35:41 * mircea_popescu removes voice from danielpbarron
    Aug 02 08:35:44 * mircea_popescu removes voice from bvt
    Aug 02 08:35:48 * mircea_popescu removes voice from BingoBoingo
    Aug 02 08:35:51 * mircea_popescu removes voice from billymg
    Aug 02 08:35:55 * mircea_popescu removes voice from ave1
    Aug 02 08:35:59 * mircea_popescu removes voice from auctionbot
    Aug 02 08:36:03 * mircea_popescu removes voice from asciilifeform
    Aug 02 08:36:09 * mircea_popescu removes voice from mircea_popescu
    Aug 02 08:36:14 * mircea_popescu removes channel operator status from mircea_popescu

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

Bitcoin SV scheduled fork will increase block size to 2GB

July 23, 2019 — shinohai
Faketoshi's shitcoin "Bitcoin SV" is planning an update, called "Quasar" on July 24, and will increase maximum block size to 2GB. The upgrade will likely allow more weather app data to be stored in their "blockchain". The forecast calls for a 100% chance of lies and scams.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Animus iocandi

May 30, 2019 — shinohai

Telegram never fails to produce lulz, and an endless stream of scammers that scout cryptocurrency channels for marks. Since I'm an admin in the Unobtanium channel, I get plenty of unsolicited messages from institutional investors and princes from Monaco that wish me to part with my precious UNO. To wit:

Scammers suddenly get all moral when you discuss sexual acts with them. This guy supposed that blackmailing me by threatening to inform the other admins what I was up to was the solution. Fortunately, the other team members are well aware I'm a degenerate that uses unconventional methods.

This is, of course, just a sampling of the countless messages I have received. I imagined that I might end up on some sort of scammer "do not contact" list, but since Nigeria alone has a population of roughly 191 Million, it might take some time.

Bring it on.

Tags: Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Scams

Hoaxtoshi rekt by VERified address signature

May 17, 2019 — shinohai

Roger Ver gives us our morning dose of lulz with this reply over the wire to hoaxtoshi's claims:

gentoo ~/devel/bitcoin/bin/ # ./bitcoin-cli verifymessage \
16cou7Ht6WjTzuFyDBnht9hmvXytg6XdVT \
G39S6i4XsfQnixN5ePMjVPboWvGXdnW8xFFAXiwEriZFCclflbD7umP58u3Sl+dvvXC5BxBrRNkTMNf92O1UIXw= \
"Address 16cou7Ht6WjTzuFyDBnht9hmvXytg6XdVT does not belong to Satoshi or to Craig Wright. Craig is a liar and a fraud."


Hoaxtoshi and Calvin Ayre will likely publish a Coingeek article disputing the claims. Popcorn is on sale in the lobby all this weekend and next week.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Binance Chief suggests bitcoin block reorg to undo hack

May 15, 2019 — shinohai

Binance CEO Changpeng Zhao actually suggested mimicking mEthereum and performing a block reorg to enable his exchange to recover from a 7`000 BTC SFYL earlier this month. Mr. Zhao apparently forgot that Bitcoin is immutable and many came out to mock his McAfee-level stupid suggestions. Blockstream CEO Adam Back was quoted as saying:

"You just have to accept that Bitcoin is final because a whole bunch of factors which we can get into, but it’s basically, you know, all of the infrastructure is set up to automatically just continue consuming and finalizing transactions. And there’s a lot of inertia and equipment that’s just running away, mining transactions, so it’s very hard. The software is not designed to undo things. The infrastructure isn’t designed to undo it. And there’s all kinds of side-effects if you did. And the side-effects are both technical and economic. "In game theory, if you can undo something, the attacker can do other things. And people who disagree with the reorg can do other things. People are very incentivized to see it not happen because they’ve seen other coins have this happen and suffer a great loss of credibility as a result. And there are also geopolitical issues that, you know, you would establish a precedent that would erode one of the major benefits of Bitcoin, being censorship-resistance, which ties back to this kind of finality of the network."

#btcinfo extends condolences to Binance and Mr. Zhao, and are so very sorry for your loss.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Webshit

Cryptopia exchange makes exit scam official

May 15, 2019 — shinohai

New Zealand based cryptocurrency exchange Cryptopia is closing up shop and beginning "liquidation proceedings" a.k.a. SFYL. Trading is suspended (again!) and the website contains only a press release this morning, which reads:

15/05/2019 David Ruscoe and Russell Moore from Grant Thornton New Zealand were yesterday appointed liquidators of Cryptopia Despite the efforts of management to reduce cost and return the business to profitability, it was decided the appointment of liquidators was, in the best interests of customers, staff and other stakeholders. The liquidators are focused on securing the assets for the benefit of all stakeholders. While this process and investigations take place, trading on the exchange is suspended. "Given the complexities involved we expect the investigation to take months rather than weeks." The liquidators are also working with independent experts and the relevant authorities with regards to the company’s obligations. Grant Thornton will be contacting all customers and suppliers about its appointment in the next few days. Further enquiries, please email

The final tally of the SFYL from this long-running shitcoin trade hub will be reported in a later post.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Webshit

Amazon opens shitcoin service to public

May 01, 2019 — shinohai

Need your own shitcoin? AWS now has you covered with the announcement that they will open their "Managed-blockchain-as-a-service" for public consumption.

Amazon Managed Blockchain at AWS General Manager and former Microsoft Tech Support worker Rahul Pathak had this to say:

“Customers want to use blockchain frameworks like Hyperledger Fabric and Ethereum1 to create blockchain networks so they can conduct business quickly, with an immutable record of transactions, but without the need for a centralized authority.2"

Support for Hyperledger is available now, with flaming-tire-in-a-shitpit Ethereum to be launched in coming months, allowing AWS customers to choose the shitcoin service they want to facilitate flushing their money down the toilet.


TMSR logs domain btcbase down for 3 days and counting

May 01, 2019 — shinohai

Oh the mighty Republic. You know, that place far superior to yours truly1 and everyone else, that will conquer the US gubmint and similar entities? No?

Unlike Jesus Christ, who was alleged to have risen from the grave after 3 days, has been down for 72 hours as of the time of this post. No worries, really, as this site shows last working i.p. address of the domain as which can handily be added to your `/etc/hosts` file for normal operation. Future references to btcbase logs in this blog will simply be archived to avoid the issue.

The outage is just yet in another of the performance anomalies predicted back in January. Expect TMSR to back-burner a few of the current bikesheds being worked on to bikeshed dns for a while in coming weeks.


Principality of Sealand offers safe haven to seastead couple.

April 29, 2019 — shinohai

The Principality of Sealand has extended an offer of safe haven to Chad Elwartowski & Nadia Supranee Thepdet, who are accused of violating Thai sovereignty and face either life imprisonment or death if captured. The pair set up a small structure 14 nautical miles off Thailand's coast, and billed the floating home the "world's first seastead" in a facebook post dated April 13th. The couple fled prior to a Royal Thai Navy task force raid, and are believed to be in hiding on the mainland now according to police.

Sealand said further in their statement:

Such a draconian reaction from a national government serves as a stark reminder:why it is important to challenge the status quo. We hope for a swift & peaceful resolution to the situation, & are ready to help in whatever way possible.

Updates to this post will be made if and when they become available

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Sealand

Building Unobtanium on Docker

April 17, 2019 — shinohai

This docker recipe has so far proved a stable way to get repeatable results when building Unobtanium binaries for 64-bit Linux and Windows. I am mainly making this post to reference the steps I took, as the method is applicable to most coins.

Download my unobtanium-devenv and untar it.

curl | tar zxvf -

Enter devenv and build the docker image

cd unobtanium-devenv/

docker-compose -f docker-compose.yml -f unobtanium/ build

Go have a coffee and smoke while the container builds.

When that build finishes, start the container.

docker-compose -f docker-compose.yml -f unobtanium/ up -d

Find your container id and connect (as root)

docker container ls --all

docker exec -u root -t -i <container-id> /bin/bash

From the docker shell, go clone my Unobtanium repo.

git clone && cd Unobtanium/depends/

Let's do a Windows build, just for fun.

make HOST=x86_64-w64-mingw32

The process of compiling the dependncies takes about 2 hours. I usually also invoke `import colombian websluts` at this point. When I return to the terminal we are ready to build the UNO qt and cli .exe's

cd ..


./configure --prefix="$PWD/depends/x86_64-w64-mingw32/"


Kill another hour drinking coffee, smoking, and looking at cats on internet.

mkdir -p bin

cp src/*.exe bin/

cp src/qt/unobtanium-qt.exe bin/

Enjoy your shiny new Windows wallet. Repeat the depends step and rebuild to produce binary for any arch you have a config for.

The x86_64 Linux version lets you do nice things, like run custom .qss so I darkened the wallet. I will post this config to the blog shortly.

Have fun, and feel free to complain about this build method on irc or telegram.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, UNIX

Mark Karpeles handed suspended sentence in Mt. Gox trial

March 15, 2019 — shinohai

A Japanese court found former Mt. Gox CEO Mark Karpeles guilty of tampering with financial records, but elected to suspend his 2.5 year sentence and allowing him to avoid squealing like a pig in prison.

Bloomberg reported that Karpeles viewed his treatment by Japanese authorities as unfair, instead of thanking them for helping him shed some much needed weight:

Karpeles has said he was interrogated for months without a lawyer and bullied into signing a confession, a "nightmare" process during which he lost 77 pounds over 11 months.

The government of the U.S. still blames Russian national and former btc-e exchange operator Alexander Vinnik for laundering the stolen funds from Mt. Gox and is attempting to extradite him to America to face charges. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

BlockCypher reveals mETHereum hard fork lulz

March 13, 2019 — shinohai

tl;dr: BlockCypher decides to continue to offer support for Ethereum despite services being non-operational for almost a month following the recent "upgrades" to the network.

After examining every which way we could think of to add the Trie state to our Ethereum state, we asked Vitalik for assistance. His first comment to us was "oh you’re one of the few running one of those big, scary nodes." We asked him if he knew of anyone else running a "big, scary node" to see if we could possibly sync with them. He knew of no one, not even the Ethereum Foundation keeps a full archival copy of the Ethereum chain.(Emphasis added) We were back to square 1: starting the Full sync again, this time including the Trie state.

This led to stunning results:

"Lesson Learned #3: In the event of a chain re-organization, we may be the only ones to know the entire history of Ethereum transactions."

This seems to mark a developing trend of aversions to a "foundation" model though running big, scary nodes will always remain the only method to ensure a complete and accurate history of the blockchain.

You can read the entire shitty medium post discussing these lulz here if you're so inclined.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Webshit

Thailand SEC bans Bcash, other altcoins

March 03, 2019 — shinohai

Thailand's equivalent of the SEC announced it would be prohibiting the exchange of BCH (Btrash) and a handful of other cryptocurrencies in order to "protect its citizens" from fraud. The r/btc lemming force is expected to coordinate hundreds of posts later in the week denouncing all things Thai, which likely will stay confined to the reddit corral now that twitter CEO Jack Dorsey said he would not add Btrash as on option on Square payments or twitter. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

Coinomi wallet sends user passwords in plaintext over Google API

February 28, 2019 — shinohai

Today's Lulz come courtesy of "Bitcoin Wallet" Coinomi, which handily sent user passwords over Google spell check in plain text using their Webshit framework. btcinfo sends condolonces to affected "users" and is very SFYL. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz, Webshit

BSV found to host CP

February 06, 2019 — shinohai

Fork of a fork of BTC BitcoinSV's recent increase in the OP_RETURN data size has led to unknown individuals using it to store child pornography images on the BSV chain. The images were placed into tx's using Ryan X. Charles "Money Button" service, which makes it easy to embed data into transactions. Unlike the links to CP discovered in the actual Bitcoin blockchain, the "Bigger Blocks" allow for full images to be stored immutably on their blokechain and will likely be heralded as BSV and nChain's "Killer App". (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

CoinBr announces suspension of online services

January 30, 2019 — shinohai

The operator of the MPEx brokerage service CoinBr, jurov, announced in a blog post this morning that the service would be shuttering its online operations for the foreseeable future. Lack of interest and 0 usage in the past year were cited as reasons for the change, unsurprising considering the general poor performance of TMSR enterprises during that time period. Captain obvious makes an appearance later in the #trilema logs declaring that hand-cranked processes are superior to automated ones, also unsurprising when proffered services aren't being used.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

TRB Keccak regrind - test results and notes

January 20, 2019 — shinohai

I had originally intended this to be a better version of the build instructions I mirrored from the foundation website, but decided to wait for the regrind before making a post, since the foundation planned on updating everything anyway. A few days later mod6 published a blog post detailing the steps he took to update the trb vtree from SHA512 to Keccak vpatches, so that is what will be covered in this post. What I did was, I went through all the similar steps just as in mod6's post, and I created my own keccak trb vtree, just as mod6 did. I then was able to confirm that my keccak trb vtree and his keccak trb tree are a mechanical match. I also did a diff of my keccak trb vtree against the original SHA512 vpatches, and we can see that only difference is the removal of the UTF8 character from genesis.vpatch.

You will need all of the dependencies listed on the bitcoin foundation website in the "how-to" section. A modified version of mod6's `` (that produces Keccak hashes) and a few other tools are also needed: these can be obtained from diana_coman's website. I no longer use nor support any other flavor of Linux besides Gentoo for any projects discussed on this site , so users of other distros will be required to do their own research to make all this work. I am using a Cuntoo chroot here, and for the sake of thoroughness, here is a list of the exact versions of the dependencies I used:

* sys-devel/bc 1.06.95-r2 * sys-devel/gcc 4.9.4 * app-crypt/gnupg 1.4.10 * net-misc/wget 1.19.5 * net-misc/curl 7.61.1 * dev-lang/perl 5.24.3-r1 * sys-devel/patch 2.7.6-r2 * net-misc/rsync 3.1.3 * sys-apps/coreutils 8.29-r1 * app-arch/unzip 6.0_p21-r2 * app-arch/bzip2 1.0.6-r10 * app-arch/cpio 2.12-r1

A working Ada setup is required to build and the tools from diana-coman's starter pack. mod6 also wrote a handy and very detailed guide to doing this here. Since I am using a clean chroot to perform all these steps, I needed to install a new copy of Adacore, so I proceeded to grab a copy of the gnat-gpl-2016-x86_64 version from the AdaCore website here, though for some reason the page 404'd at the time I was doing these tests. Fortunately diana_coman also has this preserved on her website here for those that might need it in the future.

Once that was installed, I checked to ensure it was, in fact, the proper version:

Perfect! Building the starter pack is very painless and took less than a minute for me.

Now I moved on to the actual regrind by setting up the suggested sandbox and moving down the list of steps in mod6's blog post. This also went quite painlessly, my only snafu being I forgot to add back a hyphen "-" for the utf-8 char removed from line 118 of util.h, which caused a byte mismatch later in the process. Once that was done, I had no other problems with the process and was ready to test using mod6's experimental patchset and seals which he handily provides here, along with the signature for same. This part requires one follow the `OFFLINE` build steps from the foundation website, so it will be necessary to download the dependencies from deedbot if you don't have a copy stored somewhere already. I put all the links inside a bash script, intentionally leaving off the -sSL flags so I could observe their download progress.

cd deps/ cat ><<EOF curl > rotor.tar.gz.asc curl > rotor-db-configure-fix.patch.asc curl > boost_1_52_0.tar.bz2.asc curl > buildroot-2015.05.tar.gz.asc curl > db-4.8.30.tar.gz.asc curl > openssl-1.0.1g.tar.gz.asc curl > binutils-2.24.tar.bz2.asc curl > busybox-1.23.2.tar.bz2.asc curl > expat-2.1.0.tar.gz.asc curl > fakeroot_1.18.4.orig.tar.bz2.asc curl > gcc-4.9.2.tar.bz2.asc curl > gdb-7.8.2.tar.xz.asc curl > gmp-6.0.0a.tar.xz.asc curl > linux-3.18.14.tar.xz.asc curl > m4-1.4.17.tar.xz.asc curl> mpc-1.0.3.tar.gz.asc curl> mpfr-3.1.2.tar.xz.asc curl> musl-1.1.8.tar.gz.asc curl> ncurses-5.9.tar.gz.asc curl> pkgconf-0.8.9.tar.bz2.asc EOF chmod +x ./

After enjoying un cafecito, the dependencies were finished downloading, so I deleted the script and changed back to the bitcoin directory. A simple `make` completes the process. I encountered no hiccups, and roughly a half hour or so later had a nice shiny bitcoind produced using and the keccak patchset only.

In the interests of science, and to ensure repeatable results I went a step further and redid all the regrind steps in a fresh sandbox, and signed a copy of all the patches with my gpg key. Before performing a press I put mod6's copy of the patches in a directory `a` and mine in a directory `b` and ran `diff -uNr a b` against them to ensure they matched, which they did. This build also went fine with no errors, and output a 4.7M to bin/. Now let's test it:

Success! Node is happily pulling blocks.

In conclusion, this work represents an outstanding effort on the part of mod6 to ensure trb remains unmolested in the future. I have uploaded my copies of the resulting patches and the corresponding seals here for those that wish to compare them with their own during testing.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, UNIX

mETH Classic 51% front for exchange theft

January 11, 2019 — shinohai

The 51% on the ETC network reported earlier this week appears to have been orchestrated by enterprising individuals who managed to rewrite tx history and make off with $220K USD worth of ETC from shitcoin exchange (archived)

The exchange reported that the SFYL occured between 0:40 Jan.7, 2019 and Jan 4:20 Jan.7, 2019 UTC and lasted a mere 4 hours.

"All the transactions were confirmed normally on the ETC blockchain and became invalid after the blockchain rollback."

US based exchange Conbase also reported a "$1 Million USD loss" of ETC using the same methods during the attack window. announced it would be absorbing the cost of the SFYL for it's customers.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, SFYL, Lulz

ShapeShaft: One third of shitcoin exchange workforce slashed

January 09, 2019 — shinohai
Shitcoin exchange announced that it is "laying off" 37 people, or around a third of its workforce. CEO Erik Voorhees wrote in a medium post that there were multiple factors included in this decision, though he may use some terms unfamiliar to readers. We will attempt to translate a few below.

According to Voorhees:

ShapeShift diversified its product line too early and in too many verticals, resulting in financial, legal, and time costs.

Translation: "We added support for just about every shitcoin imaginable and are surprised at the result."

We had customer issues. Business was declining from both aggregate market recession and increased competition. Our imposition of KYC?d accounts, themselves the result of trying to be cautious in a challenging regulatory environment, caused many of our most valuable API partners to leave us for competitors who have not perceived regulatory risks in the same way. We expected it, but still, it stung both financially and psychologically.

Translation: "We decided to capitulate to fiat demands and are surprised at the result."

2018 marked a rough year. While this new one starts upon some painful reorganization, we?re encouraged and hopeful for 2019.

Translation: "We lost so much money in 2018 we had to fire people but are still hopeful that *someone* out there that will continue to buy our shitcoin bags in 2019."

...and so on.

Headlines such as these have been trending lately, likely Festivus miracles that began with similar announcements by Coinbase, Steemit, Bitmain, and others. Other manifestations of miracles were reported by Qntra this month, where it was noted that mETH addicts were experiencing a chain reorganization with predictable results.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Ledger adds bluetooth SFYL device to stable.

January 07, 2019 — shinohai

Deciding that not enough cracks are visible in their wallet design, Ledger announced a new device called "LedgerX" that eminently hackable bluetooth support, which will handily announce your candidacy for SFYL to anyone within 10-20 meters. The company already entered the New Year as a loss leader after the team reviewed the device and determining it to be covered in webshit.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Webshit

A Decade of Bitcoin

January 03, 2019 — shinohai

On this date ten years ago the Bitcoin genesis block was mined by Satoshi Nakamoto. Despite repeated attempts to sabotage the project from within and without, the network continues to grow and blocks steadily mined.

Here's to ten more years of sovereignty ..... cheers!

Tags: News, Bitcoin

Bitmain terminates 50% of remaining workforce.

December 25, 2018 — shinohai

Rumors swirling on "executive social media" site LinkedIn hint that mining conglomerate Bitmain is slashing the size of it's workforce by 50%, most of the affected employees being part of a BTrash wallet development team calling itself "Copernicus". The company famously concentrated a large amount of resources towards supporting Roger Ver and mining the Bcash fork of Bitcoin, and are now experiencing the SFYL that naturally occurs when people chase scamcoins. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

dpb removed from republican rss roll

December 21, 2018 — shinohai


The learned Trishop, danielpbarron




The theological lulz continue over in trilema, with MP asking for danielpbarron's blog to be stricken from the rolls in the #trilema and #eulora channels on freenode irc - leaving the logs free for more srsbzns like bot spam.

In order to help you quickly find the droning you should be looking for, btcinfo provides these handy NPC's. Just click on the image and it returns log searches relevant to the title.

Do *you* have a suggestion for a NPC that should be added here? Send a GPG signed message to btcinfo() and we will make every effort to include it on these very pages. Non-encrypted or non-signed content is simply ignored.

At the time of publication this morning, danielpbarron had not responded to the event on the pages of his blog.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

Vitalik completes meme circle

December 20, 2018 — shinohai

Buterin finally gives away some $300K USD worth of ETH as he exits school to focus on breathing new life into the mETH industry. Diploma mill University of Basel recently awarded Butern an honorary doctorate, presumably for his work in quantum computing schemes and building a product that consistently loses user funds.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

BCash continues descent into obscurity.

December 14, 2018 — shinohai

Bitcoin Cash (a.k.a BCash, Btrash) saw prices fall to a record low of $82 USD across exchanges today, representing a 98% decline from the all time high. BCash has suffered rekt syndrome since "Hoaxtoshi" Craig Wright decided to split to his own chain, known as "Bitcoin SV", a few short weeks ago. Price for this fork of the fork of Bitcoin still sits below BCH, at $74.50. reports just slightly over 1,000 Bitcoin ABC nodes in operation at the time of this article.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Decade sentence recommended for former MtGOX CEO

December 12, 2018 — shinohai

Prosecutors in Tokyo's District Court recommended a 10-year prison sentence for former MtGOX CEO Mark Karpeles in their closing arguments today, asserting that he "betrayed his clients and used a huge amount of their money" and constructed a flimsy excuse to cover it all up. MtGOX was formerly the largest Bitcoin exchange in the world, but went bankrupt in 2014 after around $423 million USD worth of Bitcoin and fiat went missing. Karpeles claimed "LOL, we wuz haxed" and that the money discrepancies were personal loans, though prosecutors allege no documentation exists to support his version of events. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Scams

Cyprian cryptocurrency charges collapse in court

December 06, 2018 — shinohai

Alexander Vinnik, operator of defunct (though recently operating as cryptocurrency exchange btc-e had all charges against him dropped in a Cyprian court. The plaintiffs withdrew all charges of "fraud, money-laundering, and other grave crimes" according to a statement by Mr. Vinnik's attorney. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

How to eat shit and die, a manual.

December 05, 2018 — shinohai

Serial scammer "Bitcoin Tre" announced on twitter that he would consume his canine companion's shit if the USD price of Bitcoin isn't $10 by January 1rst of 2020. Trevon James is well known for peddling Bitconnect jenkem for r/edditards to huff, and was named in a class action lawsuit by Bitconnect losers in September of this year. Mr. James is the second individual this year that has proffered to eat unusual items, with John McAfee taking the lead by offering to eat his own dick on live national television.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Chinese Ethereum vulnerable to ancient bug

December 04, 2018 — shinohai

The NEO platform (Chinese Ethereum) was discovered to be vulnerable to the same default settings bug that caused mETH tards to have funds liberated from their nodes back in June. Chinese tech company Tencent first reported the bug, and encouraged all users to update their nodes as soon as possible, instead of correctly advising users to simply abandon the platform, and anything else remotely resembling Ethereum. Coinmarket cap lists an imaginary valuation of $532 million USD for this corn riddled steamy pile of Asian shit.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Insecurity

Filipinos to be paid in trash to collect trash

November 29, 2018 — shinohai

Residents of Manila may soon be "compensated" with mETH tokens in exchange for spending a few hours cleaning up trash on beaches in the capital city. ConsenSys, billed as the largest development firm on the flaming-tire-in-a-shitpit that is Ethereum, hopes to kickstart their Bounties Network dApp by appealing to uneducated 3rd-world users who might be tricked into believing that the tokens they receive have any value. Participants in this scheme with any intelligence at all will hopefully immediately swap any ETH received for actual Bitcoin on their preferred cryptocurrency exchange. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Twitter account of hacked to promote giveaway scam.

November 13, 2018 — shinohai

Unknown individuals gained access to the official Target twitter account earlier today and attempted to promote a 5000 BTC giveaway scam. The tweet posted by the hacker(s), now deleted, asked users to send small amounts of Bitcoin to an address in order to participate in a chance to win the Bitcoin prize, which is worth around $30 Million USD at the time of writing. The incident is another example of the poor security used by the twitter platform and its unwillingness to stop the proliferation of scams that usually target "verified" accounts.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Scams, Webshit

United States v. 7.26611032 Bitcoin

November 05, 2018 — shinohai

The U.S. Marshals service is auctioning 660 BTC today that it stole from various entrepreneurs under the guise of the "Civil Asset Foreiture Program". One must deposit 220k filthy fiat dollars minimum in order to participate in said auction, which opened at 8 AM EDT today.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

Buffer overflow bug discovered in segshit address scheme.

October 31, 2018 — shinohai

A buffer overflow vulnerability has been discovered by satoshi labs in the bech32 address scheme, used by Segshit and introduced into Bitcoin by "Core" developer Pieter Wuille. Satoshi labs assures users of their already pwnd Trezor devices that the risk is minimal and can only result in denial of service attacks, but released a firmware update immediately after the bug was confirmed. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Insecurity, Lulz

Vitalik gushes over scam success

October 05, 2018 — shinohai

mETHereum founder Vitalik Butterin admitted in a recent tweet that he is "really proud" that his 70% premine scamcoin has been so much more successful than his quantum computer scam.

Vitalik was quoted as saying during the initial offering that "We accept only bitcoin with no refunds for our premined ETH" a.k.a. "Fuck you, got mine".

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Japanese exchange hack results in $37 Million SFYL

September 20, 2018 — shinohai

Japanese shitcoin exchange Zaif announces they were hacked to twitter this morning, SFYL from actual bitcoin is reported to be upwards of $37 Million USD. Other worthless shit tokens such as Btrash (BCH) were taken, though no one knows precisely why.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, SFYL, Lulz

She was only 17

September 20, 2018 — shinohai

An international manhunt has begun for 3-D printed weapon producer Cody Wilson for sexual assault on an underage girl. Mr. Wilson is believed to be somewhere in Taiwan, singing this:

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz, SFYL

Hoaxtoshi announces upcoming release of his one true final vision

August 19, 2018 — shinohai

Craig "Hoaxtoshi" Wright announced plans to release a competing version of the BTrash implementation which he calls "Bitcoin SV" that will "provide a clear BCH implementation choice for miners who support Bitcoin’s original vision". The new version - the really, real version of Bitcoin this time - will have support for 128MB blocks, despite the fact that the most blocks are less than 100KB, or 0.00333333333% of the current 32MB limit. The announcement comes in the midst of a time of increasing tensions between Hoaxtoshi and the "Bitcoin ABC" (BTrash) developers, who want to add new OP codes that Wright says will encourage illegal gambling and other things he can't patent or control. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Conbase Cucks Venezuelan Userbase.

August 03, 2018 — shinohai

Coinbase has reportedly cut off access to cryptocurrency withdrawls to citizens of Venezuela. Visitors to the site from Venezuelan IP's are reporting that the following message is being displayed in their browser:

This latest Conbase Cucking is one of a series of "LOL KYC/AML" mishaps that does not affect users of Actual Bitcoin

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Webshit unpublishes chat logs for #bitcoin-otc, others.

July 30, 2018 — shinohai has disabled access to irc logs from its website, signaling that it intends to comply with the EU General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) which was enacted in 2016. bitcoinstats offered irc logging of the #bitcoin-dev, #bitcoin-core-dev, and #bitcoin-otc channels on the freenode network.

The GDPR website defines personal data as the following in their FAQ section:

The GDPR applies to ‘personal data’ meaning any information relating to an identifiable person who can be directly or indirectly identified in particular by reference to an identifier. This definition provides for a wide range of personal identifiers to constitute personal data, including name, identification number, location data or online identifier, reflecting changes in technology and the way organizations collect information about people.

It is unknown at this time if freenode intends to attempt to pressure other channel owners to unpublish logs, as the GDPR website also states that the law applies "to organisations located outside of the EU if they offer goods or services to, or monitor the behaviour of, EU data subjects". A maximum fine of 20 million Euros, or zero BTC, can be levied against individuals or organizations for non-compliance.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

Bitcoin Knots restored as the default upstream ebuild

July 22, 2018 — shinohai

Bitcoin Knots is once again the default ebuild of Bitcoin for Gentoo users. In order to revert to the "Core" flavor of Bitcoin, users will need to set the USE=-knots flag going forward.

According to developer luke-jr in a recent announcement:

Bitcoin Knots provides the best end user experience out of the box (for example, only 5 GB disk space is required instead of over 100 GB). It is completely compatible with the Bitcoin network and other Bitcoin implementations, including the popular Bitcoin Core implementation.

Bitcoin knots is currently undergoing testing on the btcinfo server, and will serve as a replacement for "therealbitcoin" in irc/telegram bot functions that require bitcoind. Source code and relevant patches will be added to the /bitcoin/ section of this website in the near future.

UPDATE 7/24/2018: luke-jr informed me that the these changes have not been merged yet. I apologize for the misquote.

Reading the #trilema logs this morning, it seems this post created fair amount of confusion:

asciilifeform: in other lulz, << shinohai endorses prb...

Please note the words undergoing testing, which should not imply any sort of endorsement or glowing review. To clarify, Knots simply offers some interesting features I want to poke with a stick more to satiate my curiosity - this segshit stuff is in wide use on alt irc platforms (Telegram, Discord, et all) and I simply want to see if any brokenness can be readily exposed. Sometimes that requires milling about in enemy territory and becoming familiar with enemy tools. Remember your Sun Tzu:

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."

asciilifeform is welcome to go ahead and negrate - this has nothing to do with spite, etc. as you already know all about. Ratings in a place where one's presence is not wanted mean little to me at this point. Experiments fail sometimes, but work should always continue nonetheless.

After all, I can't simply idle about on the beach every day. There's a goddamned war going on.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, UNIX

Porky's Revenge: Mayogendered money-man squeals again

July 06, 2018 — shinohai

Amazingly the heart of Mayogendered money-man Agustín Carsten has not yet failed of sheer exhaustion, and he was able to once again rant about his hatred for Bitcoin in a recent interview. It had about the same impact as it did last time he squealed, and Buterin's waterfall continues to weaken. (archived)

"Young people should use their many talents and skills for innovation, not reinventing money. It's a fallacy to think money can be created from nothing,"

Tags: News, Bitcoin

Zerodium offering increased rewards for UNIX 0day exploits

June 29, 2018 — shinohai

Zerodium, a company that brokers exploits to governments and "law enforcement" is now offering rewards of up to one half million USD for zero days in UNIX operating systems. The company's website states that payments can be processed in Bitcoin and other "cryptocurrencies".

ZERODIUM evaluates and verifies all submitted research within one week or less. Payments are made in one or multiple installments by wire transfer or using crypto-currencies e.g. Bitcoin.

Zerodium only accepts submissions encrypted with their GPG KEY and claims to take one's privacy "very seriously", though they require a researchers personal information that they promise not to share with anyone, ever.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Insecurity, Linux

Coordinated attack on Bcash VERified

June 26, 2018 — shinohai

Not content to sit back and make idle threats, a group of "Bitcoin developers, miners and whales" known as BitPico has begun stress testing the Bcash network. The group announced their intentions in a series of tweets which started June 22, stating they would be attempting a 51% attack that they hoped to amplify over time.

“We expect to have 5000 Bcash attack nodes in roughly 6 weeks and then we will multi-fork the chain. [Roger Ver] will now cry.”

Despite claiming to receive death threats from the Bcash redditards, the group seems committed to fighting fake Bitcoin and has the author's full support.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Zcash developer creates novel Windows ransomware.

June 22, 2018 — shinohai

This week's angry attention whore is brought to you by Zcash, which was forced to pay off the sole developer of its Windows wallet to avoid a fork. Coin Desk reported that D. Jane Mercer threatened to release a Zcash competitor if he wasn't paid for his work. A ransom of 80 ZEC, or about $15`000 USD was raised by "the community" which should pay for Mr. Mercer's crystal meth habit for about a month. Zcash has not been immune to the plummeting prices in altcoin markets this year, dropping from $876 USD at the start of the year to less than $200 USD per coin currently.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Bithumb makes sure the security resulting in SFYL

June 20, 2018 — shinohai

Executives from Yet Another Exchange Hack LTD. visit top shitcoin exchange Bithumb while they were "making sure the security". $30 Million+ USD in SFYL occurs, though the company promises to use the power of fractional reserve banking to reimburse all affected parties Buttstamp style. (archived)

Tags: Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, SFYL, Lulz

Blockchain Beanie baby bubble bursting

June 17, 2018 — shinohai

A report from Business Insider indicates that sales of collectible "CryptoKitties" on the mEthereum database are rapidly plummeting. The startup was given $12 Million USD from "Venture Capitalists" that apparently wanted to see just how much money idiots would flush down the toilet while under the influence of feline jenkem. One of the founders of CryptoKitties says the slowdown is caused by users making more "thoughtful transactions" due to the increasing costs of transacting on the mEthereum network, a side effect that occurs when one writes contracts with the ability to launch a Denial of Service attack on itself just for lulz.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Scams

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections 3

June 16, 2018 — shinohai

Vitalik Butterin whines about the NSA inventing Bitcoin again, regurgitating the same claims he made in 2011.

"Malicious miners" are rumored to have liberated 5% of the total supply of Monero.

ICON - a "smart contract" on ETH - is brought to a standstill when the following feature was discovered that allowed anyone but the developer to transfer funds out of the contract:

modifier onlyFromWallet {
    require(msg.sender != walletAddress);

The fatal bug will likely result in a $800 Million USD SFYL to "investors" in the ICO.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

BitKup Bitcoin Betting Begins

June 14, 2018 — shinohai

Bitkup, a DAPP built upon the Ethereum database, has started a campaign hoping gamblers will be dumb enough to use a platform known for skewing results to handle their sports-betting needs. Emails announcing bets being taken for the 2018 World Cup, which starts today in Russia, began hitting spam boxes worldwide early this morning. Since the fall of BitBet, no suitable replacement has been found for anyone looking to wager with actualBitcoin.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Enumerating geth nodes for fun and profit

June 13, 2018 — shinohai

Step 1: Download GETH and build it inside a chroot.

Step 2: Fire up geth and wait for the ethereum database to load.

Step 3: Enumerate peers running misconfigured clients and rpc consoles by running an insecure instance yourself:

dibbuk# ./geth --rpc --rpcaddr --rpcapi, db,eth,net,web3 --dev console

Step 4: Profit. I quickly found 22 nodes listening for the entire world on port 8545, ~60% of these were located on Chinese and other South Asian mining farms. For bonus lulz you can leverage the power of virtual shrimp mining to disrupt the network whilst you pilfer the funds from vulnerable wallets.

At the time of this post, the addresses below are confirmed to have received around $22 million USD in ETH liberated by enterprising crypto pirates, and the figures still climb despite warnings not to do this shit since March:


Lesson: Trust your finances to garbage written in golang with a javascript console at your peril.

Tags: Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Insecurity, Lulz

Yet-Another-Exchange-Hack LTD acquires Coinrail

June 11, 2018 — shinohai

Shitcoin enthusiasts are in the doldrums this morning with the announcement of Yet-Another-Exchange-Hack LTD acquiring Coinrail. Hackers have liberated a total of 1.1 Billion dollars in imagined value from "cryptocurrency" markets in the first half of this year alone. This address is said to belong to the hacker, and contains $14 Million USD in ETH tokens as of the time of this writing. There was no word as to whether Pope Butterin would invoke his mystical database powers and magic the hack away, as he has demonstrably done before.

Prices across all markets have been on decline since the announcement that US "regulators" are investigating scam exchange stalwarts that include Conbase and Buttstamp.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Gavin Andresen VERified as true hoaxtoshi

June 08, 2018 — shinohai

Roger Ver pays some schmucks to say NSA asset Gavin Andresen is the true Satoshi on No one cares since it's been known since at least 2014 exactly what he is.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

McAfee makes personal army request

June 08, 2018 — shinohai

The John McAfee lulz just write themselves:

"Make crypto great again!"

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Crypto Company Commander Commandeers Carrier

June 07, 2018 — shinohai

The story of the National Guard Soldier that stole an armored personnel carrier gets more interesting as it turns out he was involved in the development of "cryptocurrency" as a side hobby.

He was also involved in the development of a cryptocurrency called ZenCash, before leaving the project and claiming he had discovered a way to hack its underlying blockchain.....On June 4, 2018, ZenCash did suffer a cyberattack, but there is no evidence so far linking Yahut to that event.

Alas Lieutenant Yahut could not complete his ETH-fueled rampage, and is now in Virginia State Police custody and is charged with the felonies of eluding police and unauthorized use of a vehicle. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Crypocurrency, Lulz

Argentine Embassy takes its show on the road.

June 06, 2018 — shinohai

Does anyone remember the "Bitcoin Embassy" in Argentina from 2014? No? Well the ecosystem has now evolved, and boy is it thriving! From the country that brought us the aforementioned "embassy", I present:

A minivan tour of the rural areas of Argentina to teach "la gente" the magic of "cryptocurrencies"!


The tour plans to wind from from Buenas Aires province to La Pampa, Santa Fe and Cordoba. If the bus isn't torched by the end of that tour, the group plans to take their snake oil presentation to other parts of South America.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Undetermined number of exploits found in EOS code.

June 06, 2018 — shinohai

A Dutch hacker, Guido Vranken, has found a dozen "dangerous" bugs in EOS code in only 1 week. Vranken claims to have actually "lost count" of the final tally of exploits found. Miraculously, EOS still sits in the top 5 "cryptocurrencies" list at, though it was down -0.61.5% against actual Bitcoin. Unfortunately, the hacker chose to "responsibly disclose" these bugs to the EOS team instead of using the information to induce well-deserved SFYL on the participants of the scam. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

BestMixer hoping to best Shilbert's snitches.

June 05, 2018 — shinohai

An article on Roger Ver's fake news outlet claims that services like Bestmixer will keep one safe from the prying eyes of Chainalysis. Lulz are linked in the article to an official tardstalk thread that Bestmixer uses to promote it's services. Chainalysis is part of Barry Shilbert's "Digital Currency Group" and assists law enforcement investigations of all things NotBitcoin.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

trb build instructions

June 04, 2018 — shinohai

I decided to make this page to preserve a copy of trb build instructions, lest the bumblers over at #Bizarro cause the whole foundation to burn. I still have my original signed genesis vpatch (October 2016) hosted here, but my copy of the build instructions is outdated. The page (as it exists of this date) is quoted below.



What's contained with in this document is a HOWTO guide on building TRB [OFFLINE or ONLINE], The Bitcoin Reference Implementation maintained by The Bitcoin Foundation. You will need an x86-64 Linux System. Gentoo, Ubuntu, and Debian have been tested with this HOWTO document. Keep in mind that you will need to have your system locale / language set to US-English. You also will need a minimum of 20Gb of disk space in the file system where you are going to do the build. To build TRB, you are going to need some basic requirements on your system environment. You also will need the following packages / binaries / tools on your system:
  • bc
  • gcc [version 4.x]
  • g++ [version 4.x]
  • gpg [GnuPG version 1.4.x, 1.4.10 preferred]
  • wget
  • curl
  • perl
  • diff
  • patch
  • rsync
  • sha512sum
  • unzip
  • bzip2 tools [including bzcat]


Vitalk Verifies Volume Vaporware

June 03, 2018 — shinohai

mEthereum creator Vitalik Butterin was recently quoted as saying that network will eventually be able to process "potentially more than 100 million transactions per second". Butterin claims that the as yet unreleased "technologies" of sharting and plasma will allow the network to scale, despite evidence to the contrary.

I can store 1TB of sharts in my purse.

Sharting is at it's most basic a method of breaking down parts of the giant turd that is the ETH database so each node only needs to process a smaller portion of the total shit, and Plasma is basically "Lightning Network" for ETH.

Buterin further stated:

So if you get a 100x from Sharding and a 100x from Plasma, those two basically give you a 10,000x scalability gain, which basically means blockchains will be powerful enough to handle most applications most people are trying to do with them.

Such world changing applications will likely include CryptoKitties and Virtual Shrimp Mining, the two highest-volume transaction makers on the platform which recently caused the network to DDoS itself.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections 2

June 02, 2018 — shinohai
Snippets of cryptocurrency fail from around the web:

Environ, a token that promised full compliance with KYC/AML regulations, goes up in smoke, taking $100 million imaginary USD of value with it. (archived)

Serguei Popov, a "mathmetician" that worked on the IdiOTA scam, removes all traces of IOTA from his webpage.

Because all scams are better with blockchain, "premium" accessory manufacturer Monster Cables decides fake Bitcoin will resurrect slumping sales. (archived)

Online events retailer Ticketfly's website remained nonoperational today as it has yet to pay a Bitcoin ransom to the hacker that uncovered it's security failings on Friday. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, lulz

Dead Crypto Idiot Reduces World XRP Supply

May 31, 2018 — shinohai

Former chairman of the New York Republican State finance committee Matthew Mellon died of an apparent heart attack on May 18th. An early "investor" in the Ripple scam, it is believed he had roughly 1 billion XRP, or the equivalent of zero Bitcoin, that is now lost forever. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Adios, o la bifurcacion

May 31, 2018 — shinohai

Today will be the last day of my irc bot jhvh1's service in #trilema and #pizarro channels on freenode, thus concluding my final bit of business with TMSR after ~4 years of participation (The past year serving as "The Right Honorable Baron Titsbare"), before consensus decided I was no longer eligible to serve in that capacity1 . In that time I submitted articles regularly to Qntra (some good, some terrible), gained a plethora of knowledge about therealbitcoin, earned a few bitcents income playing Eulora, and met some of the finest and most knowledgeable people on the internet, hands down. So I am going to recognize those folks here in this post, as a modest way of thanking them for their efforts. In no particular order, we have:


Daniel showed me the ropes when I first arrived on Republican soil. One of the few religious folks I can tolerate being around, because he never lets God trump logic as far as I can tell.


I owe this guy a great debt of gratitude - the sheer number of hours I spent in valuable conversation with him regarding `V` 2 and therealbitcoin testing are incalculable. He has incredible stores of patience and is a real credit to The Bitcoin Foundation.


BB (As he is affectionately called) nagged me into finally getting off my ass and writing for Qntra, and as Editor-in-Chief always ensured my submissions were up to snuff. I likely wouldn't be writing this now if not for him. I hope his future involves a surfeit of dusky tits.


Diana is CTO of S.MG and provided me with some interesting quests in the land of Eulora. I will always remember rubbing sleep from my eyes early in the morning and lumbering about digging for resources in the oddest of locations at her behest. :)


A fellow Ex-Lord of the Republic, Pete still operates Contravex, a blog with a whimsical style that beats much of the other crap that gets published in Bitcoin space today.


Trinque is the reason I no longer limp about on sad Debian machines, having given me the tools to begin learning how to Gentoo - which now powers almost every box in my home. Props are also due him for nudging me to learn a bit of Common Lisp.


Alf, with his "fits in head" philosophy 3, has shaped a lot of my current ideas on what computing should and should not be.


Last, but not least, is MP. Too many contributions to my thought processes to list here, readers are invited to read Trilema or The Logs instead, and make of them what you will.

Though I look back on the gates of TMSR with a bit of wistfulness, I am excited to see where my travels will take me now that I am free of the trappings of the Republican construct. Work on this blog and the replacement bot for jhvh1 continues, as will the lampooning of cryptotards across the wider internet.


McAfee to print own fiat

May 29, 2018 — shinohai

John McAfee continues his tireless campaign to show the world what an absolute burnt-out cokehead he is by announcing McAfee Coin which he says will be "fiat currency backed by cryptocurrencies". He goes on to explain that his idea is the “reverse of what banks are attempting”, which is true since fiat institutions and the world at large tend not to accept Schrutebucks or any other play money someone prints out on a whim. No word was immediately available as to when the "collectible currency" would be available to the public, nor the method of distribution that would be used, but he assured his twitter followers that "You will love it". Mr. McAfee is well known in cryptoverse for his batshit insane ideas on crypto and support for scammy ICO's, so stay tuned to see if this idea actually generates lulz or forever remains vaporware.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, lulz

Verge attacker whacks off new exploit

May 22, 2018 — shinohai

Verge (XVG) is under attack again using a modified version of the same exploit which previously perplexed the pornhub privacy payments purveyors. At current speed, the perpetrators are generating 18250XVG per minute, or about $950 USD. Price plummeted another 7%+ on the news according to Coinmarketcap. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections.

May 19, 2018 — shinohai

A snippet of cryptocurrency fail from around the web:

Hot on the heels of Ethereum's self DDOS, the we-are-very-smart-contract platform IOTA was reportedly brought to a halt by a single spammer. Coinmarketcap ranks IOTA at #9 on it's shitcoin index.

A Chinese blockchain tea scam results in a rougly 580 BTC SFYL.

The Satori botnet has been restarted to scan the mETH network for exposed mining rigs.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Virtual shrimp mining causes ETH to DDOS itself.

May 18, 2018 — shinohai

Transactions fees on the mETH network rose to $15 USD in the past 24 hours, this time due to the proliferation of virtual shrimp mining, which perfectly complement the cryptokitty and pepe farming that already places heavy load on the network. Redditards whine about 4chan memes ruining Ethereum, having still not come to the realization that the platform is already broken beyond repair.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Ayre hawks Antiguan citizenship in last ditch effort to boost Bcash scam.

May 18, 2018 — shinohai

Fake news outlet CoinGeek is reportedly now offering to sell citizenship in the beautiful 3rd-world tax haven of Antigua. Benefits are rumored to include not owning any actual bitcoin, and being forced to transact in fiatist darling Bcash1 instead. Coin Geek is owned by serial scammer and liar Calvin Ayre who is notorious for working closely with hoaxtoshi Craig Wright. Source: (archived)


SEC announces ICO

May 17, 2018 — shinohai

The S.E.C. has announced an ICO website, (archived) in an attempt to show "investors" in cryptocurrency what scams look like. The words "powered by Ethereum" were strangely absent from the report, indicating the SEC missed the opportunity to save taxpayer money on the construction of a website and redirect consumers to directly.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, cryptocurrency

McAfee Goes Underground

May 15, 2018 — shinohai

John McAfee has once again stopped taking his medications and announced he was going into hiding from the S.E.C. today because they are trying to "destroy a revolution by making an example out of him". In a series of rants published to YouTube and twitter, McAfee detailed how he managed to backtrace the agents sent to kill him.

He's risking *felonies* everyone! For YOU.

No word was immediately available as to whether Mr. McAfee's ICO whitepaper business would be shutting down while this latest lulzfest plays out. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, lulz

Swedish theives purloin owls for BTC

May 14, 2018 — shinohai

Swedish criminals are resorting to new methods to fund their enterprises in the wake of the cashless movement, with some opting to purloin priceless pets instead, according to a report by A single great grey owl specimen can fetch upwards of 13 BTC ( $120`000 USD ) on the "Dark Web". A rise in the common phishing schemes, and cryptojacking users browsers to mine Monero was also reported.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, lulz